Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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