u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
