In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just threw up on my dentist
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
