Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
