dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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