At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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