You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
my poor anus
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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