He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
