Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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