i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
