You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
