Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
