I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
