it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
