id be glad to
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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