i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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