I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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