I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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