discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
