dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize