do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just found puke in my bra..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
