This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
