I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
