jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
