Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
