...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
