As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
