I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize