Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
