i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
