Pants 0. Shit 1.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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