I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
