People with herpes should wear stickers.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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