grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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