So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
