Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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