just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
