the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
