Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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