If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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