dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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