let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
