She said her name was "party"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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