it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize