wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
do nipples grow back?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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