somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
