he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
worst night to have a conscience
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
