Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
