She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
