I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize
