The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
