no, he came in my armpit
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize