Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
