Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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